On the other hand, i don’t have any reason to trust that he’ll magically be able to exercise only the best judgment with my son. I don’t have any reason to believe he’s exercised such poor judgment in taking care of my son (who is old enough to tell). Some considerations: the broken rules occurred in AP’s off duty time. My head says rematch is the right call, but the thought of it makes my heart ache. Our beloved au pair has lied repeatedly, and shown shocking (to me) lapses in judgment. We had another big talk, and he seemed to “get it”, and appeared remorseful, but…he lies, so who knows? He finally confessed when it was clear I wasn’t letting it go and it was just ridiculous to hang onto the lie. And lied, even when it was clear that he had been caught. It actually happened a while ago (right before the smoking talk), but this time, when confronted with it he lied. Last week, I found out that he broke another rule (car use rule) on a big way. When I found out, he came clean, and we had a long discussion that seemed to resolve things. I discovered a couple of months ago that he broke a big house rule (smoking) and lied about it to cover it up. For us, he has been something of a godsend, because my son, who went through a number of difficult transitions last year, really did not connect well with our previous au pair (pretty much hated her by the end), and has really blossomed under the comfort and support of his new “big brother.” We’ve got 5 months left, and we’ll be sad when he has to leave. He manages a great balance of host family time/ time away with friends. He is fun, warm, engaging, reasonably diligent, thoughtful and just incredibly skilled at connecting with children. My extended family adores him as well (my parents refer to him as their host grandson), the neighborhood kids all love him. Or does it make sense to hold the line, rematch, and manage the emotional repercussions to the kids as you move ahead with a new au pair?ĭevastatedHM and I are both looking forward to what you all think!Ĭan you bear just one more rematch question? I don’t want to hijack TrustbrokenHM’s thread, and I am pull-my-hair-out desperate for advice/support/comfort. Is this a situation where the Host Parent should cave, because it would hurt the kids to hold the Au Pair accountable?
Even though they’ve had the heart-to-heart talk, and even though he’s said he’d reform, the Au Pair has continued to break rules. Then, we got this email, below, from DevastatedHM.ĭevastatedHM has an au pair that she and her family adore, but who has broken several rules and lied about it. Only last week, I claimed that repeated lying was an automatic, unquestionable grounds for rematch.
Just when you think the answer is clear, a situation comes along that makes it foggy again.
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